So much can happen in the course of 30 days. These past 30 days of my life have been filled with challenges, confirmations, stress, peace, and so much more. During this 30 day challenge I learned a lot about myself and where God has me right now. I began my journal challenge on January 2, 2019. Let me start this off by being completely honest. I wasn’t consistent at all. I would be on top of it, and then fall off. Then repeat the same cycle. Then guess what, life happened. Of course the enemy is going to try to show up when you are learning and discovering yourself and going deeper in Christ.

During this time my spirit completely shifted and not for the better. I began to let my bad habits overtake my relationship with God. I realized I was lazy and to be honest, I was okay with it. I began to put earthly relationships before heavenly ones. Guess what, I became okay with that too. It’s like I wanted to do better and speak the Word over my life, but just couldn’t. I didn’t even care about the fact that I couldn’t. I was okay with all of a sudden taking this turn for the worst. As both my work life and personal life was beginning to stress me out, I began complaining instead of writing about it to my Heavenly Father. God began to use actual experience to speak to me and show me things since my journal and quiet time began to become non-existent. So here is what God has taught me in the past 30 days.

God showed me myself. I realized that I was attached to my past a little more than I thought. During this time I was blaming my mistakes, downfalls, and issues on my childhood. My bad habits were a result of the way I was raised. What I had to do vs. what I didn’t growing up. I was making excuses like “I’m lazy because I was spoiled growing up. I didn’t have to lift a finger!” “I’m terrible at time management because I never had a real bed time.” “I’m not consistent because I was never required to make up my bed everyday.” These are the things that were coming out of my mouth. God showed me that I constantly make excuses for myself. Although these things have some truth to it, I realized that I was in control of what formed/developed from these things. The Bible says when I was a child I thought as a child. Now that I am a man I put away childish things. God revealed to me that I had to put away the things of my childhood and move forward into what I know to be the right and correct way to do things. God is a God that operates in decency and in order. Within these 30 days he taught me that he requires me to move in the same way.

Within these 30 days I learned that I am a stronger woman than I thought. Although at times during this challenge I was scared to just be and speak with Jesus, He allowed the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me through many decisions. One in particular included not continuing a relationship with this guy. The Lord had given me peace about sticking strong to who I am in him and just moving on. However, I wondered what if I’m not making the right decision. As women of God we have to learn what we will and will not tolerate in potential relationships. I learned that I have the strength to not compromise my beliefs. I learned that I have the strength to accept the fact that I may have different views on how to go about a Godly relationship God’s way. I learned that it is okay to put yourself first and require what you NEED out of a relationship from the person that you are in it with. Through praying, going back through my journal entries, and seeking council I was able to genuinely be confident and proud in the decision I made.

I learned that obedience is better than sacrifice. God doesn’t pass onto us a mantle to not see it fulfilled. God wants a return on His investment on us. We were bought with a price and He has placed something deep on the inside of each of us to do and fulfill. We must be obedient to the calling on our lives as opposed to just sitting in a sacrifice that we’ve made on our own will. I know that we all know this already, but do you really know? I learned my obedience and consistency in that obedience is not about me, but about His people. Imagine how much more revelation I could have received if I remained true to my journal challenge and didn’t have on and off days? I made that sacrifice on my own will. Because of this I had to experience things and learn from life itself. When God could have given me the way to handle a situation before it even came along through prayer and journaling. It’s a bit late now, you never know. However, I am very grateful that God got me through the most interesting and trying 30 days of my life. I learned a lot in this time frame. I’m sure I will continue to learn moving forward. I know I can be more effective in the future knowing what I know now.

Have you ever done a journal challenge in order to increase your relationship with God? What did you guys learn from doing your own Journal Challenges? Were your experiences similar to mine? Did you conquer things or learned things in a different way? Let me know in the comments!

Love and Blessings Ladies,

-Jerica Henderson

IG: @iflyinjuly/@_fierceandfavored_